Wikipedia is a fine resource. Nothing else on the Internet allows me to go from looking up game shows to looking up Norse mythology.
While browsing the reality TV category last Tuesday, I came across the page for Road Rules. On this page, near the bottom, a casting call is listed with a due date for Monday the 26th. This is an interesting opportunity. I remember when Road Rules first came out. I was in 6th grade and I remember the people on that show better than I do any other Road Rules or The Real World season. Just going off memory, I remember Mark (who had a tower of hair at the beginning of the season and none at the end), Kit (the hot chick), Allison (the girl from Long Island), the girl whose last name is Spottedhorse (because she’s Native American [I had to look up her first name, which is Shelly]) and Carlos (the prick).
Since then, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be on Road Rules or The Real World. Mind you, it’s not a goal in my life to be on an MTV reality show, but more of a grand “what-if”. Well, since the age cutoff for these shows is 24, here presents my last chance to fulfill that “what-if”.
So, with only 6 days notice, I start writing what I’m going to say and deciding when I’m going to be able to send in the tape once I have it. I’ll start writing something, change a couple of words, add something else, change the order, take out an entire section, make some more edits, etc etc before I finally have something.
So, borrowing my dad’s camera, I film what I want to say in the 5 minutes I’m allowed. After the speech, I play it back and decide that it’s not going to get better before the deadline.
I also decide that right now, I’m in absolutely no condition to be on MTV or TV of any kind.
The tape played exactly as my comedy tapes did. I stutter at some points, I look away from the camera when I’m not confident in what I have to say, and I do the blinking thing when I’m trying to figure out what to say. It is incredibly obvious that putting myself in this position would absolutely ruin me. Not to mention that I could’ve included more than just me (blinking eyes and stupid voice) talking to the camera. I should’ve included some action shots and super-duper video editing, but 6 days left little time to do anything.
If this tape was going to be sent out, it would’ve been sent out today. Instead, it’s in my hand and it will not be making the cross-country trip to Bunim-Murray Productions.
To be or not to be? Not to be.
(I just wrote a blog entry about how I’m not doing something. How retarded am I?)