So I dreamt that I had a third nipple located on my stomach a few inches off-center. My friends laughed at me for it, but I took it in stride.
I have no idea why my dreams keep involving nipples.
Archive for July, 2007
Dream
Saturday, July 28th, 2007The Irony Is Delicious…
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007Sprint Customer Service Rep: Hello, thank you for calling. My name is <name>, how may I help you.
Joe: I want to know when the contract for this line expires.
Sprint CSR: I will find that out for you, one moment please…
Sprint CSR: The expiration date for the contract for this line is January 2007.
Joe: And would it be able to port this number over to a different service?
Sprint CSR: … yes. You’d go to the new service and port it over there. May I ask why you would port the number over?
Joe:
*Signal faded. Call lost.*
People Knowing Just Enough to Screw Up
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007Today at work, weeks of preparation came to fruition as, for the first time in 2 years, our office’s video conferencing equipment is finally being used.
Now, I usually don’t get excited about my job, but today, I was really excited about this. I was the point person in setting up the system when it was first installed 2 years ago, and I was the only one (besides the vendor) available to see the first successful test of the system. Since then, the equipment has been used a grand total of zero times. It was almost used one time before, but the plans fell through. But now is different! Now, I will wow everyone with my ability to connect to Albany and see and hear a bunch of people sitting around a table. Fun times!
The “teleconference”, as it’s being called, started at 8:30am. It connected to Albany (and 2 other sites) without a problem. The problems started as soon as the conference went on break. I went up to check on things, and the lady in charge asked if there was a way to make it louder. I picked up the remote control I left on the side of the room, and showed her the volume controls. I left the remote with her and went back to my office downstairs.
No more than 5 minutes later, I get a call from the receptionist on the 12th floor saying that the teleconference is ready to come back and they need to reconnect. I’m confused, of course, because I was just up there and they were connected. Right after I get off the phone with her, I get a call from the tech at Albany saying that we’ve been disconnected. I go up to the conference room, confirm the disconnect, and call back into the conference without a problem.
I have no proof, but there’s no doubt in my mind someone hit the “call / hang up” button on the remote after seeing me do it earlier that morning. It could also be one of the attendees dropping a book on the front end of the remote where the hang-up button is located, but in either case, bad things happen when you let people touch the remote.
Moral of the story: Don’t leave your stuff with people you don’t know.
P.S. Don’t let people borrow your shit. If you’re not on them to return it, you’ll never get it back, or you’ll get it back broken. But that’s another story for another day.
Transformers
Thursday, July 5th, 2007Fantastic movie.
If you’re on the fence about seeing Transformers, you have to know what to expect and what not to expect. What you should expect is cars, trucks, jets and other machines transforming into giant human-like robots whose only job is to kick ass. You should also expect slapstick, situational and bodily-function humor. What you should not expect is a sophisticated plot or Academy-quality acting. I’m not saying the acting wasn’t good; it was very-much adequate. But this is an action movie based off an 80’s cartoon, and there are only a few things needed to make this movie good, and they pretty much nailed it.
Awesome fight scenes involving giant robots that turn into other things and destroy stuff? Check. Hot chick? Check (She’s married to Brian Austin Green? Fuck. That.) Hugo Weaving? Shit yes. Comic relief? Check. And finally… Bernie Mac cameo? Check.
See this movie. You’ll be a better person for it.